Hanan Pacha, Kay Pacha, Uku Pacha... PERU

The Incas were not fools. Well, THE Inca [Enqa (illuminated being), to be proper], ´cause, different to the knowledge spread by the Spaniards who intended to once settle here, the Inca was just one, the "king", no one else. The rest were Quechuas (Qechuas, to be proper), and so they called themselves.

So, the Inca was not a fool. Nowadays, millions of euros would be paid in order to be able to open your eyes and get overwhelmed with those glorious views every morning,  day after day. I have never felt anything like that anywhere else in the world. In fact, I even thought that I was already used to amazing landscapes. It´s been a few that I have seen without batting an eyelid. However, one can chew the energy here, like it or not. Those mountains trap you, wrap you and me, they flood me with an energy that lifts me, it fills me up. Call me crazy and exaggerated but that´s exactly what I´ve felt here. 

There is no doubt that the city of Machu Picchu is impressive. Specially, when you arrive up there exhausted and craving for oxygen due to the height, after having climbed those "little stairs" up to the top. You see the dimension of the place and wonder: "How the hell did these half-a-metre-tall Incas manage to build all this up here?!" Unbelievable. And, nevertheless, the bunches of tourists that cover it like ants are so many, that the magic out of that first impression vanishes in a fingers snap.

Nope, the city of Machu Picchu did not engage me, to be honest. But what did stroke me deep in the heart were those magnificent mountains that surround it. Most of the time I was there, (and it was quite a few hours), I spent it sitting facing the mountains on one side and the other. Letting that dense energy wrap me. Indescribable. Without any doubt, my number one.

I have not seen much more of Peru. Cusco, a bit of its surroundings, a bit around Machu Picchu and, of course, Machu Picchu. Little time but many people, fantastic experiences and a lot taken on board. 

I have "re-learnt" that fear does not exist out of my head, but I let it limit me and I hyper-protect myself. Yes, exactly so, just like my own mum would, preventing her little girl from having a bad time.

I set off in a 5-day trekking (well, 4 in the end, thanks God or the the divine Universe. Right, Alistair? ;) ) going up to 4650 meters high, on the way to Machu Picchu. That was after 4 days in Cusco, unconsciously suffering from altitude sickness, with diarrhoea and out of breath just walking around the city. I felt like a little piece of shit (never better said), feeble. Going trekking without any training, my knee, not being prepared for the cold weather we were definitely going to suffer, the altitude, my weakness,... in short, everything worried me.

I was this far (and I mean, absurdly close) from cancelling the trip, faking a sudden, serious ailment and asking for a refund. In my mind, an amazing outburst of excuses. Fortunately, my "irrational" and passive side kept repeating: "You have already paid, my dear, so deal with it!". And a shy little voice: "I think that... yes, you can..." So, inertia packed my fears in my backpack and there we went, only to confirm that, yes, it was hard; but so far from what I had foreseen. And YES, I CAN. Every sigh was well worth it like any other before.

It is true that, in the end, I got so motivated with my physical power that my limits may have dissipated a bit too much. I still do not master the "neither too much, nor too little" thing... never mind, one cannot learn everything in a go. That way, there´s still something in the things-to-learn suitcase and I come back soon, cause, yes, I´LL BE BACK!

Kokopelli Hostel. Cusco, Peru.

Experience... Colombia

I`ve left Colombia without seing much, to be honest. A pity, ´cause it is a paradise country for the traveller. From the Caribean to the Amazon. Sea, mountains, jungle, culture, coffee, music, a lot of "rumba" (party), a lot of life. 

My trip through Colombia hasn´t mustered so many places to remember as has experiences. Experiences that have proved me that the best thing to do is letting oneself flow in life and trust it. Life takes you where it has to take you and crosses your path with that of the people you have to meet, right when you have to meet them. I know it seems just like another New Age clichè but the more I live, the more real it becomes in my life.
My trip through Colombia has not stopped reminding me that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. When I think about it all, I can´t help but being astonished. It is clear to me that this country was unavoidable in my Latin-American trip.

I must admit that before coming here, I was a "tiny" bit scared. Will I be robed? Hijacked? Will I leave the country safe and sound with my backpack still on my shoulders? No other country has generated so many: "Ana, take care, you`re travelling on your own!". I got tired of so much "be careful" and of so many fears hosted in so many heads. I am, by default, cautious and suspicious, a bit too much many times. It has pissed me off having to fight against others´ fears not to let them limit my experience. Well, I´ve not been hijacked, I have left with the same backpack on my shoulders and have not been robed (ok, almost, hehe).
It is true that I have met people who have been robed and even armed-robed but I´ve also met people who have been robed in Spain or Australia and that doesn´t put anyone off when thinking of travelling to these countries.

Is Colombia more dangerous than Spain? Yes, for sure, but it also depends on where you go and how coutiousless you move yourself around. One does the harm, and another bears the blame. The Colombian people I have bumped into have always been terribly welcoming and willing to help, simply charming. Party and happiness is in the air in an amazing country, to my surprise. And also a country through which travelling becomes easy. Here, I´m coming back for sure!

It has been short but intense. I take with me many things I´ve learnt and many others still to learn. But the best part is those people I´ve met here and whom I know I will keep on enriching myself with. In four words, Colombia has been awesome.

Ay, papi, Cuba... My free Cuba!

I leave Cuba with a strange feeling. The feeling that I am missing something. That I am missing something to get to know, to see, to taste, to feel. I don´t know, but I feel I am missing something to be lived here. I leave with an incomplete feeling. Saying I have loved Cuba is not what comes to my head in the first place, to be honest. However, I feel something special. That kind of feeling that only those places that really get deep into you leave on you when you set off.

Out of all the countries and cultures I have gotten to know in my life, Cuba is, without any doubt, the most curious and complex one. Almost unreachable. I wonder whether actual Cuban people really get to understand all the ins and outs of their own culture.

I have spent two weeks debating myself between the dichotomy of "I like it - I don´t like it (so much)" and I remain in the same confusion or worse.

When I reach the conclusion that "EVERYTHING" in this country, even the apparently most arbitrary and altruist act has a price... there you go! I find myself face down with the exception that confirms the rule. Cause yeah, the rule exists, I would say. But it seems a beautiful face and an honest smile have much more power than I thought. 

One thing I have not managed to get used to is to feeling like a "walking dollar". It is a real pity because I know I have missed the opportunity to enrich myself in conversations with many people. This, just in order to avoid having to face, for the 20th time in the same day, the rip-off of the tourist or the great question: "And would you not have a spare dollar?, a cuc?". Seriously, I wish I could help everyone, nuns did a good job with me at school, but I can´t.

I leave with my self-esteem skyrocketing, that is true. Even though, that hasn´t got much merit in Cuba. They already say it, for Cuban men, women, music and rum are the priority. I got it clear. Anyway, although it may get to be a bit saturating sometimes, I think I am gonna miss so much masculine attention from time to time, hehe.

I have not met "my Cuban man", against best omens. But I must admit I have seen the most attractive men here, with those sensual looks and that seemly natural playing. Cuba stars my list. I am in to the chocolate world, and if it is with a Latin rhythm, even more.

But what puts the most delicious icing to the Cuban cake, together with that joyful cadence, the charm and the sparkle in the eyes of its people, is music. It has me hooked, like a hard drug would. Unbelievable, I already feel the withdrawal and have not left yet. Cuba is a bomb of contained art. Spectacular. I have seen some of the best things of my life here. I have discovered Cuban jazz, that makes me quiver and lifts my soul. Jazz, salsa, fusion music, Afro-Cuban and even the-so-rejected-by-me regeton, turns me on in this island.

I know it won´t take me long to come back here cause, anyway, Cuba has got me hooked up.

Playas del este. La Habana, Republic of Cuba

Being unreasonable creates miracles...

Bye, bye, Mexico lindo. These two weeks have past by so fast! However, my trip could have not started better. I would have never thought that a 3-day course, like the one I´ve taken in Mexico, could change my life so much. I have learnt more than in months.

Among it all, I have learnt that my arrogance impoverishes and limits me and, yes, I am much more arrogant than I allow myself to admit. Well,... watch out with me! ;)

I have learnt that, in our learning-to-survive-in-life, we build "our personality" and which, we assume as natural-born when, in reality, it is a simple set of habits, learnt behaviours and mental proceses. Period. And, therefore, it can be changed. So, I can be the person I really feel I wanna be and makes me happy being, no matter who/how I have been till now. Whoever/however I commit myself to be like I can... my imagination goes crazy with so many possibilities!

I have learnt that, with age, we grow further and further away from being authentic. We fill our backpack with stones from the past and anchor it to our subconscious without noticing it. We get so used to its load that we stop feeling it. Life, in its day to day, comes full of "reasons" not to do, say or feel so many things. We chain ourselves, our present and our future up to the past. We become prisioners of a past that, in reality, is nothing more than a bunch of interpretations we make from what is really happening. It just does not exist, we simply invent it on our own.

I had never told my dad how much I love him and how proud I am of the education both, my mum and dad, have given to my brother and me. How much I value how fortunate I am in my life thanks to all their sacrifices and love. I had NEVER told that to my dad but neither even to my mum in an honest and authentic way. Same with my brother. I always stayed in the cliché and the joke. It may well have being 20 years since the last time I was so authentic with them as when I called them up during the course.

Why had I never done it before? Because of the countless reasons we all find not to do it. Reasons not to be honest, reasons not to be spontaneous, reasons not to express our feelings honestly, reasons not to give love, reasons not to do anything that may imply love and, sometimes, even reasons not to feel. Cause we have "always" behaved in a specific way and we have assumed that no way we can get out of that behavioural pattern. In reality, just because of FEAR. Fear to what others may think if we change unexpectedly. Fear to be vulnerable, fear to be rejected. Fear, fear, fear which, just like the past, does not exist outside our heads, it is our own pure creation. Nothing more.

I have learnt that "being unreasonable", not following our "reasons", creates miracles. It turns our world over, yes, that same world we think never changes and will never change. Well, you see, it changing only depends on ourserlves. From now on, I am unreasonable and unexpected. To the hell with all my reasons, no matter how hard I may find it, cause it is... Now, I just need to learn how to shut the unstoppable reasoning of this crazy mind of mine. But I am commited to it, so I will!! ;)

Sculpture. Museum of  Modern Art MACO. Oaxaca, Mexico.

I knocked it off...

Oh, well, yes, it was true in the end that I was quitting my job and was going for a walk to the other side of the ocean... Oh, my!

I can imagine what a the revelation it must have been for Albert Camus to reach the conclusion that "Life is the sum of all your decisions". It seems simple and the truth is that he didn't discovered the world with it, but it has taken me 33 years to be actually conscious of what it really means. But thanks God, cause there are many who leave this world, sad and frustrated, without ever understanding it.

Without even giving it a thought, we tend to accept our life submissively as the inevitable consequence of our environment's (others') decisions, expectations and circumstances. We feel ourselves as the capricious life's puppets, with its swinging, its come's and go's, before which we have no voice nor vote. I have spent twenty-something years moaning about my "unfair" life; curious, considering how fortunate and lucky I am. As we say in Spain, I have a big flower in my bum (my lucky star is always shinning!). However, in spite of it, I always preferred to muffle myself up with the shit I was covering my eyes with... perverse mind.

To be honest, I think EVERYTHING in life happens because of a reason and what is worse (or better, I would say) is that most of what happens to us is a pure consequence of our own decisions (of action or inaction). The "unfair" life I was moaning about, I was cooking it just myself, unaware of it.

So, the time has come for me to say "bye, bye" to my submissive and passive attitude and focus on watering my flower and creating the life I want for myself. Goodbye to a job that does not enrich me and head first to what really fulfills me, no matter what it takes (Oh, yeah!). Although, I know, it won't take much, I just know... hehe, yes, optimism stays with me!

Backpacking now till the end of the year, open to whatever Life brings me around Latinamerica. And from January on... much more and much better!! :)

Mural in Hostal Dos Fridas y Diego. México DF.